I Hold On, But Only By Your Heartstrings
by shiftseveny
Summary: There's a difference between not letting go and not being able to; and so, Hezla thinks, this love will kill her for sure. OC-centric, although canon characters may make appearances later on. Some slash and femslash, but the focus is primarily on sibling relationships.


_I Hold On, But Only By Your Heartstrings_

* * *

 **Synopsis** : There's a difference between not letting go and not being able to; and so, Hezla thinks, this love will kill her for sure.

 **Warnings** : The entirety of this fanfiction will contain extremely normalized dehumanization, as well as blood, death, and non-explicit torture. Starting from the next update, I will include chapter-specific warnings at the top of the page.

 **AN** : Tiir and a few other of the God's Eyes Group will be making appearances later on, but the main focus is decidedly the OC. Moreover, while there will be femslash – as noted in the summary – the focus is not on romance but rather the bonds between the OC and her siblings.

* * *

"The monster escaped, you know."

Kaynbi starts. Ink spills across his papers, and he curses, rising and sending his chair toppling loudly to the floor. Attempting to clear the mess only sends scriptures and ornaments tumbling off his desk as well.

"Hardly something a priest should be saying," Chezo says lightly, and Kaynbi glares at him.

"How did sh – _it_ even manage to get out?! We had _it_ contained so carefully!"

His heart is racing. Of course. Of course, his youngest sister – not his sister anymore, he corrects himself, only a beast now – had always been tricky. He remembers Nykoa weaving through the smallest gaps among the thornbushes and crawling through hollowed trees, he remembers her venturing into crumbling shacks and easily escaping, somehow without a scratch, the one time a decrepit cottage's roof had collapsed over her head.

Finding your way out from a death trap of rotten wood is, of course, different from escaping an iron cage locked securely beneath the temple, but apparently not _that_ different.

If Nykoa was still a human, he could feel pride beneath worry, but Nykoa isn't. The Nykoa he knew is dead, changed beyond recognition into a demon; a demon with red eyes and death at its fingers. So he feels nothing but a burning disgust and resentment; _it_ should have stayed put behind its bars. _It_ should have stayed where he would never have to think of _it_ again…

"Kaynbi," Chezo says, sharply, calling him back from his thoughts. "I understand that you are shaken by the fact even a monster so young could manipulate and deceive its way past our security, but rest assured, our order will certainly engage it once more in battle and defeat it!"

"And when you do?" Kaynbi asks, glad that his attire masks his bitter smile. Engage in battle? That's not at all what happened when Nykoa was captured.

"We'll put it down," Chezo says. "It's too dangerous to keep alive, evidently."

Kaynbi remembers, with sudden clarity, how Nykoa had wept. How she screamed when the swords were drawn, and when they cut into her arms. How she curled into herself, wailing and attempting to keep as much of herself as she could out of reach. How helpless she was.

Nykoa, dangerous. That was an almost laughable thought.

…But it was a demon, after all. An abomination. Surely it was all an act, a pathetic and shameful attempt to arouse pity.

"You were with them when they first captured it, yes?" Chezo looks him over. "If what I heard is true."

With them? He was the reason they found it in the first place. He sold the monster out in return for patronage, but that isn't common knowledge, even among his peers. It's even less common knowledge that he once called the sinful creature his sister, of all things.

Kaynbi nods.

"Oh, you'll have to regale me with stories of that conquest sometime. Anyways, there's a high chance you'll be asked to join the effort to hunt down the Alpha Stigma, so you ought to prepare for the chance."

"Yes, of course," Kaynbi says.

"But clean up your room, first," Chezo frowns. "And for God's grace, shut that window. It looks like a storm is gathering."

"Yes, of – " he turns, eyes widening. He hadn't left the window open. Could it have been…?

"…of course," Kaynbi repeats. His fellow priest sighs and departs wordlessly, recognizing the signs that he'll be descending into thought. Usually, this is accompanied by recitations of obscure literature, which Chezo can't stand. But that's not at all what's on his mind, now.

"Hezla," he whispers. "If you intend to do what I think you have in mind… God save you."

For aiding a demon like Nykoa, his remaining sister would most certainly go to Hell.

* * *

Her blood thunders in her veins, drowning out the sounds of rainfall and distant thunder. She crumples to her knees as soon as she's reentered the temple, gasping not from exertion but from the sudden burn in her throat, her heart, her eyes.

Hezla's mind is a storm of emotion, and she can't stop the soft cries or choked sobs that escape from between her lips and fingers.

Relief, that her sister is alive. Loathing, for the one she once called brother. Pride, for Nykoa's defiance and skill. Despair, that she's once again slipped through her fingers. And maybe – just maybe – joy?

No, not joy. She'll never be happy again, not until she's seen that her beloved sister is once again safe and happy, not until she's held her once more in her arms.

But Hezla isn't certain that she deserves a part in the life of someone as lovely as her sister, anymore. She couldn't protect Nykoa, after all. She never considered that Kaynbi would sell her out. She was too slow in attaining her location, too reluctant to resort to certain measures. She was too slow in planning the rescue, too slow in enacting it.

Her shaking subsides, and she takes a few breaths. Hezla raises her head to look at the effigy before which she kneels.

"If You exist," she whispers, a dark smile tugging at her lips, "I defy You. You, who would condemn someone so loving and innocent as my sister. I defy You, I denounce You. I'll find her before Your servants, and I'll keep her safe and happy, away from the life of suffering that You condemned her to."

She continues.

"I'll do anything to accomplish this. If I have to tear down each and every one of Your temples, stone by stone, I will. If I have to kill each and every one of Your priests, I will." Even the one she once loved. "If I have to burn Runa to the ground, I will. Anything to accomplish this."

Anything for Nykoa.

Anything for her.

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 **AN2** : There's the prologue! To clarify; Hezla will be the protagonist of this fanfiction. Kaynbi is her older brother by blood, though she no longer considers him such. Nykoa is their younger sister by blood, though Kaynbi no longer considers her such. She possesses God's Eyes.

If anyone has any questions, please feel free to PM me or leave a question in the review!


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